i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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