Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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