She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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