I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Randomize
