Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
