thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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