woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Randomize
