That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
