my room smells like sperm. sweet.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
