I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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