yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
