i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
