Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
