My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Randomize
