whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
