Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
where are you?
Hypothermia
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
