At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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