Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
