Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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