is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
