We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
