I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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