So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
