he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
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