I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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