his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
