I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
