I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
