Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize