chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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