im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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