i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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