yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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