Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
