dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
