it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
