It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
they're like a gay fantastic four
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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