Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
