LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize