I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
