She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
