I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
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