No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
