Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize