You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
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