Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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