Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
i love accidental penises.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
