Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
She's the barista slut.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
