are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
