I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
