i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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