We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
don't judge my taste in strippers
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
