mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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