Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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