Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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