Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
