carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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