Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
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