I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
