so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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