I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
