he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize
