he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize