some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
