I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
