My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
honey bunches of taint.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Randomize
