I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize