Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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