he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
